Bathroom Etiquette

I have some serious pet peeves when it comes to the bathroom.  SERIOUS!  The first thing that annoys me, and I must fix it immediately, is improperly installed toilet paper.  

So… which of the following is the correct way to install your TP?

a.  With paper roll dispensing sheets from the top

b.  With paper roll dispensing sheets from underneath

c.  It doesn’t matter, both ways are fine.

Answers:

a. CORRECT!  YOU WIN!  YOUR MOM IS PROUD!

b. WRONG.  JUST WRONG.

C. WRONG AND LAZY!  It’s a wonder you don’t use the sink for your business!  

Here’s an instructional video to help  you get this simple task right:

The second item is the much debated, seat up vs. seat down.  Three times today I found the seat UP in our faculty bathroom.  Once.. there was unflushed pee! 

I was PISSED (giggling)!  So I typed up this note and taped it at eye level for those who stand to pee:

seat up!

Now.. I caught a lot of flack from some men friends about this.  Why should the women get special treatment.. and blah blah blah whatever….(grrrrr!)

To validate the rule LAW that the seat should always be put down, I searched to vault of all truths.. the internets.  Here’s what I found at The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette:

We get asked this question all of the time:

Should I leave the seat up, or put the seat down?

Sometimes it’s at work, sometimes it’s at home, but our answer (with a few small exceptions) is always the same…

Leave the seat down!

Listen, this isn’t about logic, or statistics, or minimizing global effort or anything other than etiquette and doing what’s right. It’s right to leave the seat down, because women prefer it that way. It’s right to leave the seat down because it’s simply the nice thing to do. Oh, and you know how you say it’s so easy for women to put the seat down before they go? While it’s just as easy for men to put the seat down after they go. You get to pee while standing up. Women don’t, so grant them this one small courtesy!

But what about those exceptions I was talking about? While there’s really only one. If you live alone, and never entertain female company, go ahead and leave the seat up. Otherwise, be a real man and leave it down.

Okay, I lied – maybe there are two exceptions. Rick brings up the case where a toilet is going to be used exclusively by men, even if only temporarily. Say your buddy is having a fantasy football draft, there’s 15 guys in the house, no women, and a ton of beer. There’s going to be a lot of peeing, and a lot of bathroom usage, and not a lot of reason to keep putting the seat down only to have the next guy lift it back up, or even worse, pee all over it.

Finally, Andrew reminds me of the following very important consideration:

I notice that your site has a page about seat position, but fails to take hygiene into account; any bathroom with a toothbrush less than 6 feet (approximately 2 meters) away from the toilet seat should not only have the seat down, but the cover as well. Admittedly, this method isn’t convenient for anybody, as whoever uses it will have to lift something, but otherwise, think about the germs that are mixed into the air and spread to your toothbrush the moment you flush.

This is good advice for anybody flushing a toilet in their home!

In MY house…. MY house.. we keep the lid down.  We don’t even keep our toothbrushes out, but the lid is always down.  I NEVER have to put the seat down at home.  My boys are well trained.  Now if I can only get my co-manworkers to get it right.  

Thanks ICBE!  Check out their other great bathroom etiquette tips.  Are you doing #1 and #2 in a mannerly fashion?  Are you?

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4 thoughts on “Bathroom Etiquette

  1. Our TP: balanced on top of a towering stack of 18th cent. novels and motorcycle magazines. I have to hide the dispenser cylinder so that Em will not automatically yank the roll and spool off 150 feet at one time. That is not an exaggeration. Sometimes I think she just dabs herself with a whole roll. Some people only have to flip up the cover when then enter the bathroom; I automatically reach for the plunger. You, however, may be taking anal retention (no pun intended) to new levels with the roll-facing-out-and-seat-down advice. Next you will be forcing Mark to pee sitting down. Everyone knows the seat is not about etiquette or hygiene – it is about bending the other sex to your will.

  2. Can’t stand it when you are left low and wet…(empty paper dispenser)…I always stash a reserve roll because i’m always left stranded and then I’m pissed after i’ve pissed (that sounds really bad).

  3. In your parents’ house the seat and lid is always left down, just a common courtesy to the next person using it. The TP roll is always with the “leading edge” up! Keep up the good work! Yo Momma and Papa is proud of you. 🙂

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