Double Heart Hurt

Today was one of those hum drum days for me. I never seemed to get motivated at work.. all distracty and such. The end of my day arrives.. kids are all leaving school, chaos, phone ringing…Lisa we need this, we need that and I just needed to leave to pick up my own kids from school.

My cell rings, its a long time dear friend. I answer quickly.. and say, “Hey can I call you right back?” She says a quick “Yes” followed by my “Ok!” and I manage to get out the door, into my car, buckled and before I even have the car in drive, I call her back.

She is sobbing.

I feel like an ass. She totally needed to talk to me, and I asked if I could call her right back. I should have known better. Dammit. But I was on the phone now and bracing for bad news.

She has to put her dog down..tonight. A tumor, causing her dog to be sick and uncomfortable. I am now sobbing because I love my girl so much.. and I love her dog. She’s been through this before, I was there and remember how painful it was for her. She loves very deeply, you know? You know people like this. I tell her I am on my way home (we are also neighbors) and Mark and I will help in any way we can, whether it is to take the kids for a while, or just be there with them. She says….she’ll call me in a bit when they decide what how to handle it.

I collect my emotions as best I can and pick up my kids from school. As we are about to turn from the school onto the main road home, my friend’s husband drives by on his way home from the vet. He sees me and gives a quick wave, and then I see her…..that sweet dog I’ve known for years, sticking her head out the passenger window enjoying the speed and the wind the way dogs were meant to. I turn and follow in the direction of our homes and just lose it, watching her joyful last ride, ears flapping in the wind.

That was a double heart hurt.

I had this whole in my chest, thinking about my friend and how she must be feeling. And then just when I’ve got my self in control, I see her dear dog in all her dog joy glory. It hurt so bad, but had a sweet silver lining too.

I don’t know what else to say, just am so sad. I love very deeply too, and my dog is going to be 13 this year. I posted all about my love for her last summer, check it out if you want.

Anyway.. that’s all.

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2 thoughts on “Double Heart Hurt

  1. Wow – My heart hurts this morning after reading your post. I just finished my morning love to Sunny, our 13 year old lab. Her hind leg tumor is the size of a cantaloupe and I know her days left with us are few, not enough. She breathes heavy but still has enough energy to give me some licks and love back. She was my first baby.

    Dogs are amazing friends. They surely don’t ask for much but always give away more than they receive. If only all humans behaved this way…what a wonderful world it would be.

    When I say “Live today, be today, cherish this second. Tomorrow is a possibility, not a guarantee”. It’s because I really mean it. In the game of life, we have no second chance, no make up quiz to get it right. All we have is today. Cherish it. Don’t forget to tell those important to you how much they mean.

  2. You are such a good friend. I wouldn’t worry about calling her back, we all get wrapped up in the messiness of our lives. Friends understand this. You are a lovely person and I think it is wonderful that you are feeling your own pain as well as you friends. We all need friends we can love, cherish, occasionally let down and share our life experiences with….it’s one of the things that makes life bearable.

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