Again… the nose knows!

I TOLD you I had an extra large scent organ.  Remember? Well it is one strong sniffer, and today it detected the ….ugh…. one of the most…undesirable scents of all. DEATH.

I’m sitting at my desk, minding my bidness like always. Daydreaming working on spreadsheets and what not.  I smell something.  It is definitely faint, but unpleasant.  I check my garbage can.  Nothing.. was just emptied last night. What could it be?  No… it couldn’t be…….me?  Pit check: no.  Shoe check: clean.  Shirt check: fresh.  Breath: like roses (some people are just lucky that way).  No idea…but the rankness is still there.

I’m a busy girl, don’t have time to investigate because I have daydreaming spreadsheets to work on.  I carry on with my work.

But that nose of mine.  I mean, that  NOSE!  It won’t let go of the smell.  So then I try to distract nose.  Someone who knows of my weakness for men’s cologne left smelly magazine ad on my desk To. Taunt. Me.  I press it to my face trying to distract nose from the stench.  Well, it worked for a while, but my brain went off into la la land as  is the affect of  men’s cologne.  It’s like trying to distract a hyper kid by giving them a chocolate cup cake.  Bad idea.

The cursor on my screen was in the same cell for like, 15 minutes.

This just won’t do.. so I decide to investigate a bit more.  I’m under my desk, moving the garbage can.. nothing.. and empty tub, nothing.. a rolling filing thingy…no, but then, I see…small.. black pellets on the floor.

That *%$#@ mouse is back!  We have a mouse problem in my building.  It has been trying to get into my chocolate stash without success.  It has pooped on my desk.  It has friends.  They have pooped in our kitchen both upstairs and downstairs.  Each morning I check the traps, dispose of what I find and disinfect everything and more before anyone else arrives. I am not squemish. I hate these little MFers.

Then I see it.  It is dangling from the frame of my rolling filing thingy, obviously got its legs caught and crapped itself a big pile on the floor below while it died.  I let out a pathetic girlish scream that is so unlike me.


And I ran away shaking my hands wailing “Dead Mouse! Dead Mouse!” like a complete idiot.

It was the smell, I’m sure that put me over the edge and turned me into a freak.  I mean, I was right there in close range smelling its poo and dead mouse.  A wonderful friend at work disposed of dead mouse while I walked outside for fresh air coupled with cologne sample shoved to my nose.

I go back in, grab the Clorox spray, paper towels and the Febreeze from the bathroom.  I clean up the poo and the rest of the floor around my desk.. and roller filer thingy.  Febreeze under my desk, and then.. for kicks…the whole lobby.

Ahhh, much better.  Now about that spreadsheet… ugh.


6 thoughts on “Again… the nose knows!

  1. Now’s the chance to get a school cat! I know, allergies and all that. I, too, found a RAT in my garbage here in October. I screamed for Cesar (lives upstairs) to come take it away. Now I have a fierce hunter curled up on my belly here, and no more rats nearby. So far he hasn’t actually caught anything except a moth, but he is a powerful deterrent. Why don’t you set out traps around your desk at night?

  2. I like the school cat idea. I’m sure there are breeds out there that are hypo-allergenic…
    Only drawback….sometimes those lovely felines will bring you their kill. My cats growing up did that. All. The. Time. But we never had a rat or mouse (or bird…) problem.

  3. Oh Lisa, I feel your pain. I mentioned to Dave a few months back, “There’s a funny smell in the basement.” He says, “Yeah, I noticed it a few days ago.” He does a smell check and determines it not one of his bike/woodworking chemicals on his side, but coming from the side where we store everything. So after the kids go to bed, we begin methodically removing stuff from one side of the basement to the other. I’m chanting in my head, “Please don’t let me be the one to find it. PLEASE don’t let me be the one to find it.” And wouldn’t you know, I pick up a box that was the bottom of the pile and there it is – dead chipmunk. I make that squealing noise you made, run upstairs, and huddle on the couch under the blanket for 1/2 hour. Had the worst case of heebie jeebies the rest of the night. Dave said the poor animal had been there pretty long, based on his solid state (or more like liquid state!) Gross, gross, gross! Be proud of your nose – it saved you an even bigger mess!

  4. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

    I am intensely disgusted.

  5. Pingback: The Nose Knows III « The Blozulfog

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