Let me tell you about my nose……….

Tweaked Taken from www.peteducation.com:

Q. How good is my dog’s sense of smell?
A. Dogs have a keen sense of smellA dog’s scent organ (inside his nose) is about four times larger than a human’s, and a dog’s sense of smell is about 50-100 times more powerful than yours but not mine.  Although all dogs have a powerful sense of smell, some breeds have a greater talent for sniffing out things. A few examples are Basset Hounds, Bloodhounds, Scotch-Irish/ Scandinavian Red Heads, and Beagles, which are considered ‘scent hounds or scent goddesses‘ If you live with a scent hound or goddess, you know how difficult it is to get his her mind focused on anything but odors.

Apparently I have a larger than average scent organ…..*ahem.

I have always had a keen sense of smell.  I once smelled that a young child was trapped in a well 5 miles away and was able to rescue him. Thank you, no, really, no applause necessary.

Seriously though, I have a few favorite and not so favorite smells I’d like to tell you about.  Here they are:

1.  Men’s cologne.

2. fresh baked brownies.

3. Men’s cologne.

4. lilacs

5. I know…. Men’s cologne, really.

I bought my husband some cologne… good stuff. Allure Homme by……lets see……..Chanel. I had to go look…..and  I just  put some on.  On my wrists. Like I usually do.  Everyday.  OMG!  Ok…focus…focus….

He never wears it, unless I spray him, or make it “conditional,” if you know what I mean.  My friend Heather has a plug in room freshener in a small stylish un-mud room in her house that smells like men’s cologne.  Sometimes I just stand in there.  And breathe.  I don’t know why it is, but it just makes me relaxed and happy.

Now for the UN-favorite smells:

1. Ass

2. sweaty children

3. red onions

4. fresh seafood sections in markets

5. cigarette smoke

Now, much like a Pavlov’s Dog, I have had some Classical Conditioning relating to sight and smell.  I was not aware of my conditioning until today, I’m embarrassed to say.  Here’s how it all went down.

Sitting at my desk at work, minding my bidness, I see a brown UPS truck pull to deliver our Office Depot order.  Eyes tell brain.. get nose ready.  UPS man always smells good. Nostrils tense up preparing to maximize inhalation without getting assaulted. It’s nice how self preservation is always kicking around.

UPS man walks in.  NOT my usual UPS man.  Eyes send confused message to brain which send ridiculous message to mouth and hands to hips: “Where’s our usual guy?”  My, that was pleasant.

“He’s on vacation.”

Right, he deserves that I guess, seeing as he works harder than SANTA during the holiday season.

I get up to sign for the package, and my nose is still in its “amped” state.  As he hands me the thingy to sign, my Classical Conditioning kicks in and I take a deep breath in through my nose.

AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!  CRAP THIS IS AWFUL! IT’S IN MY NOSE! GROSS! IT’S IN MY NOSE! GET IT OUT! GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

Fortunately that all happened in my brain and not infront of this stand-in UPS man that must have finished his cigarette before he walked in my door.  That would have been awkward.

So.. I tried to get the smell out after he left.  I blew my nose a gazillion times, put lotion on my face, and walked through a mist of Febreeze.  It improved somewhat.

I will not order anything, I will not send any packages out, until I know MY UPS man is back to work.. and boy is he gonna hear about how bad his replacement smelled.

What an awful thing to do to my cute little nose!  Isnt’ it a cute nose?  Like the little bling?  You would never know there was such a big scent organ in there!

nose

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11 thoughts on “Let me tell you about my nose……….

  1. hehehehe. That was pretty funny. I’ll have to make sure I smell extra good next time I see you. So as to be sure not to offend your delicate nasal sensibilities.

  2. I’m on board with the arousal factor from a good cologne. One up, a good deodorant can result in the same effect, gross I know, but true.

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but UPS man was at my house this week, so the vacation story was a nice cover. Stinky is your new UPS boy. Maybe sweet smelling requested a route change after being assaulted by your sniffer on a regular basis…lol..xoxo

  3. I think that UPS man should of spritz some smell good on some delivery notices before he took time off. Just 1 for each day he’s off

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