I am feeling…. in a word…….GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Our renter bailed 5 months into a year lease. She didnt’ pay last months rent (kept promising to). She didn’t pay a damage/cleaning deposit (kept promising to). She didn’t pay for September’s rent (is still promising). She didn’t clean. She didn’t scoop her dog’s poo in the back yard. She said she didn’t smoke, but obviously did (cigarette butts outside).
She really seemed like a great person. And in my heart, I think she had the best intentions. It seems as though, as soon as she moved in, she fell on hard times. Car broke down. Lost her job. Unexpected expenses. There are a lot of people going through hard times right now, so Mark and I were compassionate. We let things slide a bit. Gave her more time. She sounded ashamed and depressed. She got to a point were she just couldn’t afford the place and had to move. She apologized repeatedly for putting us in a tough spot. Her life had been on a real roll, great new job…. things were steady….and then not. We really felt for her situation.
But she didn’t even clean. She didn’t take care of our house. And she didn’t pay. We still have to pay…2 mortgages. We are not rolling in cash..not even close. This was our first home and we decided to hang onto it as an investment, knowing that we were going to be living lean for a while. I love that house. Brought my babies home there and lived there for 9 years. It is a really cool house. She didn’t take care of it. When I went there today I was just pissed. Mad… cleaning… disgusted with the dirt and dog hair. I was mad for a long time.
As I’ve been sitting here ranting, and going over the state of the house, I remembered something that happened when we went over there today. I had the kids with me. Ruby came down with some garbage. She could tell how mad I was and was trying to join me in my frustration. “Look at this garbage I found upstairs Mommy!” It was the wrapper of a sample of an anti-depressant. The kind a doctor would give you. And it hits me.
Yes, most of you might still think I am a total sucker. But have you ever been close to a person going through depression? I have. She was on a downward spiral. No money, endless bills. At risk of losing her job. Her house was a disaster, and her kids were ……they were all on the brink. The whole scene was out of character for her; a stylish, intelligent, loving mom. Her circumstances led to a deep depression. Five of us, her close friends, did an intervention. It was so hard and took a while, but it worked. She’s back in the game and tending to her friends if they seem to falter. She’s lovely now. But what a hell to get through.
So, I don’t know, maybe I am just a sucker. But I think the fact that Ruby showed me that particular piece of garbage was God’s way of telling me not to judge. We’ve done fine by giving her a break, even if it puts us in a financial pinch for bit. We are supported by family all around. If she had the same support, she wouldn’t have struggled so much.
There, not growling anymore. Sad for her, grateful for what I have.