I’m your mother not your……….


Absolutely bananas has this great bit going on “I’m your mother, not your fill in the blank.”  Now, there are a lot of things that I have been to my kids, the referee, the waitress, the mani/pedi beautician, even the proctologist on occasion.  But the thing they abuse use me for the most is the keeper of all knowledge of misplaced items.  Like, what kind of a job would that be anyway?  Maybe a department store clerk? “Ma’am, can you tell me where I can find the object I placed in its incorrect spot?”  No, not a clerk.  Keeper of the lost and found?  That would assume that I collect items not in their assigned places and put them together somewhere else.  Well, I kind of do that, when I’m pissed that the house is a mess.  Its called the trash.  But this is not quite it either.

It’s the “Mom, where is my bunny, my school book, my SHOES, my lunchbox, my brain.”  “WHERE?” How can I be expected to do this job?  I am not omniscient!  It’s like they expect me to be God, cuz he knows everything.   But I won’t be blasphemous here.

The most common request in my house comes from Ruby and it is this:

Ruby:  Mom, where’s Bunny?

Me:  She’s not in your bed?

Ruby: No.

Me:  Well, I don’t know, where did you have her last?

Ruby:  The beach.

Me:…(says nothing…just blinks)

Ruby:  The apple tree at the beach.

Me: oh gosh hon, it is past 9:00, it’s dark.  Maybe we could look in the mor-

Ruby: MOM PAAAALEASE! I CAN’T SLEEP WITH OUT HER!

Me: Ok

Here’s the other one.  “Mom, I can’t find Bunny!”  I tell her to stay in bed.. and I look around a bit.  Finally I found bunny in the bathroom.  This is one of my favorite pictures. EVER.

I’m your mother, not your finder of lost things, but you know.. I will always look.

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6 thoughts on “I’m your mother not your……….

  1. You are hilarious! …okay, so it is now 4:30 am (and past my bedtime)… but I just had to check it out…and kept reading. I’ll be back. Keep it coming… Cheers!

  2. That picture is absolutely adorable!
    I could have written a similar article, but it would have gone like I’m your wife, not your finder of lost things…. not that hubby has a bunny, but you know what I mean!

  3. Heh! I like to say “Well, the last time I used your ‘fill in the blank’ I left it where I found it.” The girls don’t find that answer amusing, neither does the Husband. Go figure these people, sheesh.

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