Bluvvering

Tonight we had our senior dinner at West Sound Academy. An elegant meal, a beautiful slideshow, and a time to share stories about each of the honored guests.

Somewhere in the slideshow I realized that I was going to lose it if I tried to talk. Somewhere in seeing the childhood faces of these now almost graduates. Pictures of them at the age when I first met them and they joined our school. All these pictures were causing the lump in my throat to get bigger, and bigger.

Parents shared stories, aunties, family friends, and some staff. Then there was silence, and Barrie, our Head of School, says, “Well Lisa?” Probably because I always have something to say, and because everyone knows I love these kids.

That is when I was overwhelmed by some crazy mix of emotions. I couldn’t talk. All I could do was look at everyone and CRY. The only words that came out of my mouth was that it was too hard to talk. Nice one Lisa.

What a fool. When there is so much to say about each of these wonderful kids. And I was stumped by what… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS EMOTION ANYWAY?

Adoration? Pride? Self Pity (they ARE leaving after all) Excitement? Worry?

LOVE.

Bluvvering, I’ve decided, is what happens when you are overwhelmed by all these emotions at once, and you can’t speak.. love just leaks from your eyes. Love + Blubbering.

I’m so mad at myself because I wanted to say something, and COULD say something about each one!

The one who loves my kids and was in my carpool for a year.. over to my house sometimes, eating chili and sledding. Sweetest softest voice you’ve ever heard.

The one I stayed with in the ER while we waited to find out what put her there, covered in hives and in pain, but through all her misery she remained the grateful and lovely girl that is so easy to love.

The one that just needed a walk, in silence one day. Not to share her worry.. just a walk. With the most beautiful eyes you can imagine and a private way about her that was easy to respect.

The lovely one that has traveled the world and landed with us for just a year. But with her she brought a kind friendship to all of her classmates. Always joyful, and helpful.

The one that… and we all wish we had one like this in our lives.. that could fix any tech problem that came up and you were so grateful for his genius. And you plot a way to keep him at school….but you have to let this one go too.

The international one that joined our family for the holidays, the one that is filled with dreams of who she will be in the future and whose curiosity is infectious. She is fun-loving, thoughtful, and so sweet with my children.

The one with whom I had a daily ritual of a hug. The kind of hug that everyone needs. She could squeeze your worry right out of you with that hug, and sometimes needed you to squeeze her worry away. Brilliant girl full of possibilites. I already miss her hugs and how amazing she is to be around.

And then there’s that ONE. The one that I’ve been able to watch grow from my first year at school to this evening. The one that gave me his shoes as a prop for an admissions event one evening.. he drove home in his socks! The measuring stick of awesomeness, kindness, intelligence, and the close friend to my own (exchange student) son. The one whose family I have grown to love so much. The one whose name I can’t get out because of that damn lump in my throat!

That is all I wanted to say really. There is just 8 of them, it shouldn’t have been impossible but there I was, looking at them and bluvvering.

Congrats class of 2013! Love you!

-me

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