Making the Grade in Bra-Land

Bra Art Auction

So the other day I had some free time without the fam to do a little shopping.  I needed ………………..UNDERGARMENTS  in the worst way.  My bras have lost their elasticity and my undies……..well.  I’m at that place in my life where getting bras and underwear at Costco will suffice.  I don’t want to be in “that place.”  I want to be in the place where I shop at Victoria Secret.  But my finances compromised and sent me to Macy’s for a fitting.. and then shopping at Target for the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders.  

I’ve never had a “bra fitting.”  I’m 38.  I’ve never figured that my girls needed that kind of …I don’t know…consideration.  I head into the fitting room with a nice woman carrying measuring tape.  After a few embarassed giggles by me, she tells me the news.  A “D.”

REALLY? No.. really?  I’m the girl who at 22 got shooed out of a Fredricks of Hollywood because they don’t have bras for girls with mosquitos bites on their chests.  Granted.. motherhood changed that.

I’m so excited that as soon as she leaves I text my husband.

“Dude!  I’m a D cup!  Just got measured! Who knew?!?!”

“Nice. Who measured them?”

“A young woman, silly!”

“Did she like them? Can you pick up some photo paper?”

I call him to tell him I’m not at Costco anymore.  “You’re not?” he says.  

*blinking*

“SINCE WHEN DO THEY DO BRA FITTINGS AT COSTCO?!?! YOU CAN’T EVEN TRY ON PANTS THERE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”

“Wuuuullllll, I don’t know…..”

Ugh.. so I got a couple of bras there and then went to Target to get some more affordable ones, in my new size… a D!  The only size I don’t object going up in. But it turns out that a D means….too big for the cutie bras.  And I am not buying those torpedo tit ones.  Sorry, but no.  So.. plain ole bras.  Hmmpf.

Onto the undies.  You know you need to try on jeans right? So you know what fits your ass?  But all these undies are in these little sealed packages, so it is such a gamble to try to get the kind that fit perfectly.  And I have a challenging ass.  I need an “ass fitting.” Bought 3 different kinds that all failed horribly at home. GRRRR!  

Here is one of my favorite blog posts EVER, by Preteens, Toddlers, and New Borns, Oh My! about her experience bra shopping.  You will die laughing!  Really.