January 7, 2009...10:14 pm

My deepest apologies, my dear public…

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It has been way too long since my last post.  Where on earth have I been?  What has been my problem?  I mean, I even had two weeks off from work for cryin’ out loud!

I have been utterly uninspired.

Sure funny things have happened, and beautiful things have happened.  We had tons of snow, and my kids continued to be hilarious.  We had Christmas… family over.. great food, fun gifts, I even had a birthday.  But nothing has really inspired me to write.

This goes beyond writers block, and I’m gonna blame my dang back for the whole bit.

I have been consumed with back pain.  I have scoliosis in my lower back. I strained it way back in August and it never healed like it usually does, in a couple of weeks of taking it easy.  The pain moved around, from my sciatic to the middle of my back.  It woke me up in the middle of the night with pain that would just make me cry.

Here’s what I tried:

I slept with pillows under my legs…like, uh, 3 huge ones.

I took drugs, muscle relaxants, obscene amounts of aleve, and occasionally pain med, which I don’t enjoy at all because it made me loopy and didn’t help.

I went to the Chiropractor, lots.  Had massage therapy, physical therapy, new chiropractor.  I had X-rays, I even had an MRI.

I spent easily over $1000 trying to get my back to a state of normal again.

I prayed, people prayed for me.

All the while, things still needed done around the house, laundry and dishes, vacuuming, changing sheets, more laundry and more dishes.  Everything that kept my stupid back in a constant state of pain.

So………….I got depressed. I felt totally hopeless. I know many people have such worse pain and health problems, but back pain is a monster of its own.. if you’ve been there you know what I’m talking about.

So it is hard to be funny.  Its hard to be witty and clever.  It is honestly just hard to sit in one spot for a while, and that is why I have not written.  I’m uncomfortable even now.. but my back is getting better finally.

I think it is due to the new Chiropractor.  He has an interesting and very different approach to chiropractic care.  I had my last adjustment today, and if I am totally better in a week I’ll be singing his praises, you’ll hear all about him.

Now.. just because I do have a some humor left in me, here’s a few funny thoughts I’ve had about my back pain.

I need a back amputation.. and then I’ll be put on the back donor waiting list.  Ha, ha, ha.

The new muscle relaxant my Dr. gave me makes me drool and pass out.  I tried to pretend it wasn’t affecting me one night while my in-laws were visiting.  Made a complete ass of myself.  Ha, ha, ha.

Ok.. I promise to get “back” in the game and blog more.

Peace

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