Coffee…….not!

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My boss donated a new coffee maker at work.  Bless his heart. 12 cupper.  The kind that you just press a button and it fills your cup.  No more leaky carafes.  Its all good right?

Then, he’s like, “but Lisa, let me show you how much coffee to use.  This new coffee maker doesn’t require as much grounds.”  He shows me an ittty bitty little scooper.  Like….. a teaspoon size people.  “You only need three scoops.”

Now I am kind.  And I am respectful. But I am not stupid and I am dang serious about my drink.  I throw my hands to my hips, cock my head sideways and respond, “oh…..really?”  Him, “Really.”

So now, hands off hips, with open palms to him, “okay, you make this pot.”  Open palms saying ‘I can not be held responsible for the faculty freak out when they see this.’

So, here’s what I heard and saw:

One teacher, “uh…. Lisa?  Did you make this?”  Me, “Nope.  Boss did.”

Another teacher, “Lisa, the coffee is REALLY weak this morning.” Me, “yep, I know.  Wadnt’ me.”

Another teacher raised their mug at me and screwed up their face in disappointment.”This is NOT coffee.”

Me, “yeah…not in WASHINGTON STATE it isn’t!”  And then I get going, get the giggles about this ridiculous should-be-illegal coffee.  It comes out of the coffee maker in a faint shade of brown that would not even equate to lipton ice tea.  I like strong coffee.  It hits me, and I blurt out, “This is like the Coors light of coffee!  Its like a light beer for crying out loud!”  As I am nearly falling out of my chair having totally amused myself, my co-worker shushes me.  Oh yeah… I work at a school, maybe not so much the jokes about beer huh?

So, guess I’ll be hitting the drive thru latte stand on my way in to work now.

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Filed under General Humor, Work Shmerk