Gravity 534, Lisa ZERO!

Today I pretty much fell outside a post office in downtown Suquamish at…oh… 9:00 in the morning. The little voice in my head tried to warn me against it……she always knows what’s coming. The pavement usually.

Picture this: Me… ready to head out the door to work… Dressed, lunches made for kids, everyone kissed.. last thing to do is slip on my shoes. Outfit calls for: black flip flops.

Voice says: No! the flip flops are too new… you will fall for sure, they are not broken in yet. Not the flip flops!

Me: Hey.. I don’t think I feel like wearing my flip flops. They are still kind of stiff. I might FALL.

So… I then look at the time, panic, and stick my NAKED feet into my CLOGS.

Voice says: Are you friggin nuts woman!?!?! Clogs with no socks!? STUPID! YOU’LL BE SLIDING ALL OVER THE PLACE YOU STUPID FOOL!

Me: Shut the F*%# up voice! I’m gonna be late!

Out to door I go, and in no time at all my feet are sweating, naked in my Dansko clogs. Now folks, these are the Dansko Marcelle clog in black, a mary jane morphed with clog. Very cute with funky socks, and incredibly comfortable when I am able to be ‘upright.’ Aren’t they cute:

I stop at the little post office in the little spot of Suquamish I drive through on the way to worky. I get out of my car, look directly at the long cement parking barrier in the space next to me. I look right at it, as if with caution.

Voice says: Make sure you step that sweaty footed clog OVER the parking barrier dufus!

and…one…….step……toward it……andIamimmediatelysuckeddowntothecurb.

I’m 38 now.. so I stay on the ground for a few seconds to make sure nothing is broken. Broken bones matter more than broken pride these days. No one comes to my aid. No one saw? Perhaps.

Voice says: You are infact, yes…. a total idiot. Good luck the rest of the day in THOSE shoes missy!

My left side took the punch again. Just like the night of the Golden Acorn Awards. I predict that when I’m really old, if I can still wear clogs, I will prolly break that hip first. Why do I fall on that side? Must be that one gimpy short leg.

I head across the street, carefully, to meet my husband because the whole reason I am even here is to pick him up after he takes our van to the shop. I say… “I pretty much just fell in front of the post office Mark.”

Laughter.

He drops me off at work, and as I am rubbing my elbow, I tell my co-worker Terry… “yeah, I fell at the post office.”

More Laughter.

I guess laughter is what I bring to the world. That, and my body with blunt force.

Lonely nights…

So… I am sitting here in my chair… tired as heck, but waiting for my hubby to come home after a trip. It’s late. Late enough for……a Time Life special. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity only available through this special offer. The Classic Soft Rock Hits. You know how they say, “well there’s a face for radio.” You know what they mean, right? Fugly people. Have you SEEN these folks from the 70′s. Dang people. They were not so much into image. It is kind of endearing in a way. One guy.. could tuck his hair into his pants…and it is not that his hair is that long, but his pants must come up to his nipples.
Air Supply dudes are selling it. Remember them? “I’m all out of love… I’m so lost without you…” Watching this is dang near better than Saturday Night live. Prolly cuz I’m so tired I’m delirious. It could really be fun to watch with the right people, yeah you know who I’m talking about.
I really recommend that you check this out when you are up late. You will recognize the songs, and be really surprised at the people who sing them. Really.
This is cracking me up. So… the dudes from Air Supply take a stab at acting…oh…music videos in the 70′s-80′s: Although.. it is kind of gross.. the girl looks like she is 12 or something…ewww.

So… what’s next?

Yo. So, now that I’m getting used to my nose bling.. I am wondering what I should do next? I found some pics of stylish folks with body adornments that I am pondering. Right… some of you are wondering if I got my brain pierced right now. No.. I am only joking.. and mean no disrespect to the following folks plus one cow for their particular taste in…well… nose bling blang. By the way.. if you want to check out a really gorgeous girl with a cute sparkly nose click here.

Now.. Mom and Dad, aren’t you glad I haven’t done this? I like his eyebrows.

or this:

Gosh.. this is pretty:

Finally, this gives new meaning to “sexy beast” don’t you think?

The cow is really cute.
Peace.

Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers, and happy day to all you others. My mother’s day was pretty peachy I’d have to say. Greeted first thing by adoring children with gifts they made at school. Ruby had written a wonderful poem and River presented me with a cute little saying that had his foot and hand print on it. I love this kind of stuff. Funny card from the hubby, and funny card from the kids. We do “funny” pretty well.
After teaching Sunday school, the fam and I went to Sequim to see my mother! She and I were thinking that we would just hook up next weekend. But when I woke up, I knew I wanted to go see my mom today, and off we went. My bro and sis-in-law and their kiddos were there. Mom and Dad just smiled and shook their heads at my nose piercing. I am a little unsure of it now. Not because of them, but because my husband took a picture of me…. and while I generally hate pictures of myself, this one makes me think that maybe the nose bling doesn’t suit me. Tell me what you think. Click for a close up.. it is small.

Anyway.. back to Mother’s Day….. I brought my mom flowers, and wanted to take her out to dinner, but she just wanted to stay in. She said she had all she needed, some of her kids around her (my sis lives in NC, so, uh…not in driving distance). I told her she set her standards pretty low, but to keep her happy, we went to the store, and I bought stuff to make dinner at home instead of going out. It was nice. Tara, my sis-in-law and I prepped the food together. I am glad she was there. She just lost her mother to brain cancer. The services are next weekend. Bittersweet day today for her. I can’t hardly talk write about it.. lump in my throat. Can’t. Sorry.

Oh… so as we were almost back home, the light was so nice that we decided to walk down to the end of the dock. I live in Indianola. Gorgeous place you want to tell everyone about but also want to keep a secret. It was lovely, then we spent a bit of time on the beach. Ruby climbed a tree, with her “bunny.” Here are a few pictures of our piece of heaven called Indianola:
Here’s River and I looking at the crabs and jellyfish.

Here’s Ruby climbing a beautiful tree on the beach

The kids acting lovey for Dad’s camera out on the dock. Rare moment.

So we make it back home, get the kids ready for bed and just after they are settled in, Ruby discovers that “Bunny” is missing. She is hoping she left her in the van, but the look on her face fears that she was left at the beach. Bunny is not in the van. So I grab the flashlight, and the camera… and head back down to the beach. Sure enough, there was Bunny, scared, alone, in the dark. So I bring Ruby’s treasured cuddly back to here, and all is well. Nice way to wrap up Mother’s Day.

Peace.

Not exactly my nose….

Ok folks. Jenny and I put on our big girl panties and braved the tattoo and piercing place. We have cute little sparklies on our noses now. It’s fun. It was, an absurd day in motherdum, and she and I will jointly share the details of it all later. I don’t have an actual picture yet because my spousal unit has not taken one… a close up you know. But my dear friend Dave has offered some of his own artistic interpretations of what it might look like, so I will share those with you until I get a real photo up. Silly Dave. Click for the close up:

I’m sorry

Ok… rather than go back in and edit my last post, I will just apologize for it a little.  It is a little heated, some poor choices in words.  Sorry.  I still am totally grossed out by this lack of actually dancing that goes on in some clubs these days.  GROSSED OUT!!!  However, to some kids credit, recently the school I work for had a dance for our 9th through 12th grade students.  They danced non-stop, real dancing.  So….maybe this is just a condition for 20 somethings.  Again.  Sorry.  Peace.

Dancing with my eyes closed!

You know that phrase…”Dance like no one is watching?” I’m like that, mostly. But these days, if I do venture out to boogie, I am finding I prefer to dance without watching. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with people these days, but there is hardly a soul between 21 and 31 that knows how to dance….to….a….song! Like, listen to the rhythm of the song and move to that! Maybe these folks are just damn deaf and all they are hearing is MBwow Chicka Mbwow bwow. SERIOUSLY! Last night I went dancing with Jennyonthespot and I felt like we were stuck in that bizarre orgy scene in Eyes Wide Shut! If you were brave enough to see that movie, you know what I’m talking about cuz it scars your brain. Last night it was girl on girl, girl backed up to guy, guy girl sandwiches everywhere. Dithguthting behavior. Maybe it was the music. Most of it sounded the same……until Jennyonthespot and I slipped a fiver to the DJ to play some old school. He did and do you know what happened? Some people stopped dry humping each other and DANCED! WITH MOVES! Some stupid people still humped each other cuz they don’t know a thing about the boogie. These people do not belong on the dance floor, they need a freakin hotel room. AAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!